When the “Thanks” is Hard to Give

As a Christian people, we give thanks all the time for the sharing of Creation’s abundance. This week, the rest of the country joins us!

Despite being pros at gratitude, in some seasons the “thanks” can be hard to give. Sometimes it is simply that we have gotten ourselves so wound up in timetables, tasks, and travel details that there is little possibility of unwinding enough to give that exhale of gratitude. Other times it’s not the frenzy at all, but instead the slow loneliness that has crept into our lives like a fog obscuring our gratitude. Still others it’s the weight of the world that feels like it’s gone past resting on anyone’s shoulders and instead has become heavy weights around our ankles, making the pivot toward gratitude take more effort than ever.

Or perhaps you get tangled up in the history of the first 3-day feast of the Wampanoag Tribe and the English colonizers, spiraling into ruminations on the complicated and reprehensible history between the indigenous people of this land and the colonizers who seized it.

It is especially in these times -when the “thanks” is hard to give- that we choose it anyway.

“Thanks” does not negate or plaster over the frenzy, the loneliness, the hardship, the injustice, or the places where we are called to repent and restore. “Thanks” shores us up that we might face these head on and not be bowled over by them.

Even so, the “thanks” can still elude us.

In her book, Grateful: The Subversive Power of Giving Thanks, Diana Butler Bass provides words to our conundrum through a prayer of choosing thanks. Her family has used this prayer around their Thanksgiving table, each person reading a paragraph around the table. Perhaps you can pray it at your own dinner table tomorrow, or while you’re riding the MAX across town, or as you sit for your morning coffee. I share it with you that it may settle into your spirit and release that exhale of gratitude that will keep us all going.

GOD, there are many days we do not feel grateful.

When we are anxious or angry. When we feel alone. When we do not understand what is happening in the world or with our neighbors. When the news is bleak and confusing. When there are threats, injustice, violence, and war.

We struggle to feel grateful.

But this Thanksgiving, we choose gratitude.

We choose to accept life as a gift from you, and as a gift from the unfolding work of all creation.

We choose to be grateful for the earth from which our food comes; for the water that gives life; and for the air we all breathe.

We choose to thank our ancestors, those who came before us, for their stories and struggles; we will learn from their mistakes and receive their wise choices as a continuing gift for today.

We choose to see our families and friends with new eyes, accepting them for who they are. 

We are thankful for our homes, whether humble or grand.

We choose to appreciate and care for our neighbors whatever our differences or how much we feel hurt or misunderstood by them.

We choose to open our hearts to those who dwell among us in the shadows of uncertainty and fear, recognizing their full dignity and humanity.

We choose to see the world as our shared commons, our home now and the legacy we will leave for generations to come.

This Thanksgiving, we do not give thanks. We choose it.

We make this choice of thanks with courage, knowing that it is humbling to say “thank you.”

We open ourselves to your generosity, aware that we live in a circle of gratitude. We all are guests at your table around which gifts are passed and received.

We will not let anything opposed to love take over this table.

We embrace grace, love, and the gifts of life at this table. In this choosing, and in the sharing of this meal. We are strengthened to pass gratitude on to the world.

Thus, with you God, with all those gathered here, and with those at tables far distant, we pledge to make thanks.

We ask you to strengthen us in this resolve.

Here, now, and into the future. Around our family table. Around the table of our nation. Around the table of the earth.

We choose thanks. Amen.

Amen and amen.

Today, I choose thankfulness. Not because life isn’t hard, not because there isn’t plenty to grieve, but because it is in the thankfulness that we find strength for the hardship and hope alongside the grief. Will you join me?

Thankful for you,
Pastor Karyn